The Penis

I spent most of today talking about penises - and the men that they are attached to - with this lovely man, who is filming a follow-up documentary for BBC3. We had a fascinating debate about men, and male sexuality, and how the size of men's penises might affect their self-worth and confidence - which in turn may affect their experiences in sex with a partner. We also talked about how few (straight) men talk openly about their cocks, and why both of us feel that this needs to change in order for men to feel more comfortable with their identity and masculinity.

For those interested in watching the documentary (which I think is going to be fantastic, not because I am spouting my mouth off in it, but due to the importance of the subject matter and how delicately the filmmaker Lawrence will investigate it), it's due to be broadcast in six weeks. I'll post something on here about it nearer the date.

With all this in mind, I'd like to ask my male readers to do a little poll about penises. I'm curious to know just how many men feel that their penis and its size might be an issue. The poll is anonymous, so feel free to click away - you can respond to as many points as you feel are relevant to you, thanks. And do comment below if you have any additional thoughts on the subject.

[For some reason, the poll is much further down the page in this post. I'm shit at html - can anyone explain why this might be happening? Ta.]

Update 1: Thanks to the people who have pointed out the 'br' page break thing within the Poll table. I can see it in the 'view source' code, but when I view it via the Blogger 'Edit html' facility, or copy/paste it into Notepad, no page break code can be seen at all. Would I be correct in my suspicion that the page break code is coming direct from the host of the Poll and therefore I cannot alter it? Help!

Update 2: Also, to the (lovely) pedant who pointed out my incorrect usage of Penis', thank you. My grammar is shit because I spent a few years bunking off school (mainly because a particular teacher and I mutually loathed each other: he described a story I had written as "boring", and was basically a prick (he later got the sack for being aggressive to students - myself included)). Sadly these were the same years when grammar, punctuation etc. were being taught, so as a result I'm seriously lacking in that area and am basically self-taught. Clearly I have more learning to do...

Update 3: The Poll's questions arose from the discussion I had had with the filmmaker Lawrence during the day; he wondered whether men worry about their penis size too much and he believes that most straight men do not talk about their penises with other men. I hoped that I might be able to find out if this was the case. It was incredibly difficult to raise questions that weren't too leading, and I wanted to maintain some neutrality in them too. Also, I had great difficulty finding a quiz that a) wasn't full of adverts, and b) allowed multiple responses. I would have liked to have included a 'Yes'/'No' facility, and also a '1-5' rating on each point, for relevance to the responder, but these weren't possible either. (At least, not for a free poll). So perhaps it's not methodologically sound, but hopefully it'll allow some insight into what men really think about their penises - which both Lawrence and I feel is not publicly known.

The poll results about men and penises (still ongoing, here) have been fascinating. A few points:

1. I created the poll for my own curiosity, and because I thought it might be interesting for men to read how other men may feel about their penises. I also thought it would be of interest to women, given it is not a subject that many of us are privy to when it comes to 'topics of discussion' with men.
2. The poll's questions were based on the debate that arose between Lawerence and myself, where we were querying men's attitudes towards their penises. Lawrence wondered if many men lacked confidence about their penises because of their size. I suspected he might be right.
3. The poll cannot be seen as statistically accurate. The questions asked were not neutral and were (unconsciously) weighted towards a causal connection between insecurity and penis size. Bad methodology perhaps, but then I'm no sociologist.
4. I didn't create a poll for women to voice their views on penises and penis size, because I felt it important that men had the space to comment without an indirect influence from an adjacent female-centred poll. I also worried that based on the female replies, men might end up not being as honest in their response to their poll, so felt it better to leave the female perspective solely in the comment box.
5. The poll's questions/perspective does not reflect my own views on men, men's body parts, or male sexuality. I do not objectify men to the extent that I see them, or their sexual prowess, in terms of the size of their genitals. A man is not a phallus; there is a hell of a lot more to him than his cock. So for the record, (and not the first time I have said this on the blog), penis size is irrelevant to me. And yes, I have had sex with men with small penises; I have also had sex with men who had large penises. The only things that are important to me when I have sex with someone are:
i) That there is mutual attraction
ii) That the man is a nice person whose company I enjoy (and if applicable, that I care for/love him)
iii) That he is generous, sensitive to my needs, and sensual in bed

Right. The poll. The top five, in descending order of the number of votes:

1. I'm very pleased to see that the majority of respondents are happy with the size of their penises. Hurrah. This is good. I hope this figure truthfully represents that the majority of men do not worry about their penises. What's also good is that the majority of men responding to the poll feel that porn does not reflect reality (in terms of how penises are represented). To be fair, I don't see how many people can watch the 'donkey-dicks' in porn and think they represent what most men look like, but saying that, I'm sure there are still some (many?) men who watch it and wonder if they are somehow inadequate in some way. This leads onto the next point...
2. The third highest amount of responses the poll has received is a tie between men who would like to have a bigger penis, and the men who believe that women prefer a man who has a larger penis. Possibly this is not a coincidence. This saddens me immensely. I refuse to believe that the majority of my sisters only want well-endowed men; I think the idea that women do, is a myth. The fact that men seem to think that women prefer a larger penis needs some challenging I think. Women, care to speak out here?
3. The fourth largest response to the poll was men who would like to be able to discuss their penises with their partner. Again, this saddens me. I would hope that ALL men would be able to discuss how they feel about (any part of) their body with their partner. Perhaps it's time that guys swallowed their nerves and opened up a little; I think they'd be surprised to discover that their partners may actually enjoy them talking about their feelings and thoughts - even if (or perhaps because) the conversation is based around their penis.
4. The fifth highest vote, was men agreeing there was too much emphasis in sex on penises. I think women might agree with this too. That's not to say we don't all like some hot cock when we're in the mood, but if it ain't getting hard, it is still possible to have fun, so guys need to relax about this more. And perhaps we all need to stop focussing on whether or not a guy has an erection (and its size/shape), and instead enjoy all the other great things two people can get up to in sex.
5. Finally, there were the men who feel that they worry about being judged on the size of their penis. Sadly, half the respondents so far are worried about their penis size and/or think their penis is too small. Again, I can only reiterate that size really doesn't matter: it's the man, not the cock, that counts. Thus, if a woman makes a judgment about a man, based solely on the size of his cock, then she's a shallow bitch and not worth shagging.

As ever, your comments on this are welcomed: debate is good. It's about time we all started talking to each other I think, because openness about sex and all the feelings that come with it, can only make for a better experience all round. And given this, I think it's fair to say that it'd be a unanimous vote in the affirmative, were I to ask the question: do you want to have better sex?

The penis

The Penis II

The Penis III